Livingston Services

We are creatures of habit. Establishing patterned ways of doing things allows us to free up our attention for more important or interesting things. This works great when you are tying your shoes. But relying on a patterned reaction can create a problem when you are faced with stressful situations or interactions that feel threatening. The patterns that we usually follow in these situations are the patterns that we learned as children.

When we revert to childhood patterns we are stepping back into the role of helpless beings needing physical and emotional protection. And, of course, acting like a child rarely brings distinction to an adult. It takes insight, self-awareness and focused energy to adapt new ways of reacting to stress and perceived threat. Our very natures are designed to trip us up if we try to change our patterns.

If we are going to make changes we must often start with a redefinition of terms. We have drifted along with inaccurate understanding of what is actually happening to us. For instance, it is hard to change patterns if we don’t clarify the age old split between our “physical bodies” and our “psychology.” Neuroscience is finding increasingly more convincing evidence that there is no quantifiable difference between the two. If we change our behavior we also will be changing the physical architecture of our brain.

This is exciting stuff. Change can be initiated in either new thought patterns or in new physical behavior patterns. We are not victims to our psychology. We can consciously manipulate ourselves to react more in line with our best thinking.

Now what we need is some “best thinking.” This is where a coach can help support new viewpoints or paradigms. A coach can help sort through your reactions and point out the ones based on powerful adult wisdom. A coach can confirm those ideas you knew were good but kept losing sight of among the demanding patterns you developed as a child.